


One Arrow Short, or Reasons Steve Rogers is Forbidden from Texting

by LizzieHarker



Series: A Comedy of Arrows [7]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Hawkeye (Comics)
Genre: A Comedy of Arrows, Gen, M/M, Steve joins the flirting game, followup to Never Have I Ever, it's totally not weird to texting your bff from the bathtub, mild sexting, the point of the flirting game is not to win but someone needs to remind Steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-24 21:05:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12020979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizzieHarker/pseuds/LizzieHarker
Summary: Steve Rogers, aka (formerly) Captain America, is questionably good at flirting. His boyfriend, Bucky Barnes, is better.When Steve comes home to find Bucky in the bathtub, texting Clint, Steve decides to get in on the fun.After all, he totally won the last round of Never Have I Ever.This is what happens when Steve . . . well, is too Steve for his own good.





	One Arrow Short, or Reasons Steve Rogers is Forbidden from Texting

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't, I suggest you read [Never Have I Ever, or Half a Shade of Winterhawk](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11671617) first. ;D

“Bucky?” Steve called, tossing his keys onto the table. He was glad to be home. Sometimes he missed the Avenging, but being Steve Rogers was a job all its own. All he wanted was dinner and maybe a movie with his best guy. Maybe they could order in. He smiled to himself, already imagining how the rest of their evening could go. “Sweetheart?”

“Bath tub,” came the response.

Steve paused. The voice belonged to Bucky, but Bucky _hated_ baths. In fact, he hated most pools of water, give or take the occasional puddle. Steve shucked his jacket and headed for their room. “Seriously? Of your own free will?” He bit his lip as he peered around the edge of the doorframe. “Naked?”

“I don’t shower with my clothes on, Steve,” Bucky said, smirking as he raised one leg out of the water, foam clinging to his skin. He reclined against the back of the tub, phone in hand. Bucky’s skin was flushed from the heat of the water, and he had his hair done up in a messy bun.

Steve couldn’t decide if he wanted to watch or join him. “What are you . . . Are you texting?” He moved into the bathroom and examined the tub. The water was suspiciously purple. “Is that a bath bomb?”

“Yup.”

A line appeared between his brows. Bucky hated baths and bath bombs. Getting him to the mall was like pulling teeth. Of course, Bucky dirty talking him in public was worth it. Steve flushed just thinking about it, already plotting their next outing. “Who are you and what have you done with Bucky Barnes?”

Bucky chuckled. “I felt bad about it after I put the bomb in the water.” He screwed up his face. “Well, that’s a phrase I never expected to say. Wanna join me? Water’s still hot.”

Steve rolled his eyes but started toeing off his shoes. Of course he wanted to join him. “Who are you texting?”

“Well, pal, I got three numbers in my phone. You’re standing there and I ain’t texting the sushi place.”

“Clint,” Steve said, nodding once.

Bucky winked. “You got it.”

He frowned. “I thought you two were going out tonight.”

Bucky shook his head, expression turning a little sad. “Had to bail. I decided to treat myself, with the bonus of mocking him from my fantastic bath. Plus the water is purple.” He glanced up in thought. “It’s not weird to text your best bro from the bath, is it?”

Steve pulled his shirt over his head, hiding a smile. “Everything is weird with you two.”

That earned him a familiar smirk. He heart skipped a beat. “Don’t be jealous, baby. We’re adorable, sure, but I only got eyes for you.” Bucky’s phone buzzed. “Barton says hey. Wants to know if you’re getting in on the action.”

“Buck, don’t encourage him.”

Bucky answered the text. A moment later, his eyes lit up. “Stevie. We should break into his apartment. His bathtub is practically a swimming poor compared to ours.”

Steve snorted. Somehow, Clint had made himself a key to their apartment. After, Bucky had stolen Clint’s and made a copy for them. Fair was fair. “And would this be revenge for the Great Coffee Caper?”

“Could be. We could go over, play with Lucky, take a nice relaxing soak . . . I’d kinda feel weird about being naked in _his_ house, though.”

“Sweetheart,” Steve said. “You’re texting him naked.”

“This is different. I haven’t even sent him tasteful nudes.”

Steve tripped over the leg of his jeans. “Bucky.”

It was Bucky’s turn to roll his eyes. “Not _dis_ tasteful ones, either. Come on. We could, you know?”

“What? Sext Clint?”

“No, break in,” Bucky said, reaching for him. “Bigger tub. More room for the both of us. It makes sense. He’s taller.”

“By an inch,” Steve grumbled, stepping in behind Bucky. He’d been right; the water was still hot. Steve felt his muscles begin to relax.

Bucky settled himself against Steve’s chest, letting his head fell back onto Steve’s shoulder. “Every inch matters, babydoll.”

“Stop it, Buck.”

Whatever bomb Bucky had chosen smelled like berries. A little strip of paper floated by the spigot, black with red lettering: “BANG BANG.” Steve chuckled.

Bucky turned, setting his left hand on Steve’s shoulder and drawing lazy patterns on Steve’s chest with his right. “Well, if you don’t wanna, that’s fine. I’ll go by myself. Maybe crash with my other dumb blond boyfriend. Bigger bath. And he has a dog. You won’t let me get a dog.”

Steve laughed outright. “You don’t need a pet. You have Clint.”

Bucky pinched him. “Rude, but kinda true, actually. Okay, okay, we won’t break in. We’d have to get out and get dressed and leave the apartment,” Buck said, twirling his hand in the air. “Effort.”

Steve tilted Bucky’s face up and kissed him, tongue sliding between Bucky’s lips. Buck sighed. “Is it wrong I’m kinda glad he cancelled? Now I get you all to myself.” Bucky kissed him back and Steve smiled against Bucky’s mouth, pulling back slightly. “We should, you know.”

“What?”

“Sext Clint.”

The grin that curved Bucky’s mouth was the sort of devious charm Steve couldn’t resist. Bucky shifted, slotting his metal arm behind Steve. Steve nuzzled at his neck. Buck smelled sweet, floral and citrus notes on top of the scent that was purely _him_. Steve didn’t fully believe what was happening as he watched as Bucky angled the camera, the frame capturing them from neck down, ending just above their hips.

“Ready?” Bucky asked.

Steve felt himself flush but nodded, his tongue darting up Bucky’s throat. The camera clicked, capturing the image.

“We should absolutely not send that,” Bucky said. Steve noticed the color sitting high on his cheeks.

He nudged Bucky’s arm. “We should absolutely send that and then you should text it to me. I need a new background photo.”

Bucky’s blush deepened. Bucky rarely blushed, and Steve wanted to bask in it. He didn’t open Clint’s message, but sent the photo to Steve. Steve plucked the phone out of Bucky’s hand and flipped over to Clint’s text, and dropped the photo into the message bar. 

“Wish you were here,” Steve said as he typed. Then he tapped ‘send.’ 

Bucky’s eyes went wide right before he buried his face in Steve’s neck. “Oh my god, I cannot believe you just do that. This has got to cross some unspoken Bro Code line.”

“I thought this was all part of the game, sweetheart,” Steve said, setting the phone on the ledge and wrapping his arms around Bucky. 

“Yeah, but the point of the game is not to win. It’s one thing when it’s just flirting, innuendo, and the occasional make out-”

“I thought that only happened once!”

“-but this is next stage shit, Steve. And now _you’re_ in on it, too.”

“Buck, you know I’m not attracted to him.”

Bucky quirked a brow. “You sure dirty talked the hell outta him easily enough at Sam’s place. You made him blush, Steve.”

Steve ducked his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “There was no expectation he’d act on my advances! It was empty flirting.”

Bucky didn’t so much as crack a smile. “You invited him to a threesome.”

“So I got a little spirited.” Steve felt the flush creep up from his neck and flare in his cheeks. “It's not like we didn't have a good time. Besides, I was, uh, kinda imagining what it must be like for you when you dirty talk me. Knowing you’ll act on whatever I say makes me self-conscious.”

“Aw, Stevie, I’ve told you how much I like it. We’ve known each other forever. No reason to get all embarrassed with me.” 

He was right, of course. Buck had never done anything to discourage him, and he’d known there was no risk flirting with Clint but that didn’t stop the little seed of guilt from cracking open. “I may have gotten a little out of hand. Clint’s not even into guys. Is he?” Steve asked. 

Even if flirting with Clint had been a lark, Steve realized that flirting from _Bucky’s_ phone probably hadn’t been the greatest idea. He had to fix this. Casual would work. Yeah. Casual reassurance followed by distraction. He was a master tactician, after all. “Anyway, he isn’t gonna see anything he hasn't seen before, Buck. It’s Clint. He’s either gonna sass you back or send one of those blush emotion things. Meanwhile,” he said, carding his fingers through Bucky’s hair, “why don’t we have a little fun?”

He nuzzled against Bucky’s cheek before claiming his mouth, teeth sinking into Bucky’s plush lower lip. For a moment, Bucky relaxed into him, but the tension returned to his shoulders almost immediately. He snatched the phone off the ledge and thumbed in his code. Steve frowned at the whimper Buck made.

“He isn’t texting back.”

“Relax, Buck.” Steve nibbled at Bucky’s ear.

“But he read the message, Steve. Or saw it, or whatever.” Bucky dropped his head. “What if we pushed it too far?”

“Aw, sweetheart.” Steve pulled him close. “I’m sure he’s just thinking up a sassy retort. You know Clint. You guys are best friends. Nothing’s gonna break that.”

Bucky rubbed his nose on Steve’s shoulder. “You sure?”

“Absolutely. I’ll fully take the blame otherwise. I’m the one who sent the text.” Time to change tactics. Steve straddled him as best he could, looping his arms around Bucky’s neck. He kissed the skin beneath Bucky’s jaw, flicking his tongue against it. “You know, I kinda like being in this game, but I’m not much for sharing, Buck. Maybe I can take your mind off it. Maybe,” he drawled, “I’m gonna keep you all for myself.” 

He drew one hand down Bucky’s chest, slowly dipping beneath the water, and soon Bucky forgot all about breaking rules.

*

It was two days later when Bucky, idly watching the news on mute, flicked on his phone and immediately panicked. He slumped onto the couch next to Steve, face stricken. “Oh no. What do I do?”

“About what, Buck?” Steve asked, glancing away from his book. "Turn off the news. You know it's nothing but garbage fires and . . ." Steve narrowed his eyes at the scrolling ticker, "another dead goverment offical."

Bucky turned off the television and collapsed into Steve.

“Not that. Clint.”

Steve marked his page with a finger. “What about him?”

“He never answered. I’m freaking out that I’ve ruined the only other good friendship I’ve got.” Bucky worried at his lower lip.

“It’s a game, sweetheart,” Steve said, trying to soothe him. “Nothing’s changed.” He nudged Bucky’s shoulder. “Just . . . send him a text. It’s not weird if you don’t make it weird.”

Twisting his mouth, Bucky pulled up Clint’s messages. _Hey, bro. Have a good night?_ Oh, for fuck’s sake, don’t send that, jeeze. Bucky backspaced. _Hey bro. Pizza?_

The little typing bubbled popped up. _Are you futzing psychic? Open the door._

Bucky got off the couch to open the door. Clint stood on the other side trying to juggle his phone, three boxes of pizza, and what Bucky assumed was a stack of bad movies. Bucky reached for the pizza boxes. 

“Thanks, man,” Clint said. 

Buck saw the problem: a bright purple cast enclosed Clint’s left arm. “What the fuck happened?” He stepped aside, closing the door behind Clint.

Clint shrugged. “Fell off a building and into a dumpster. Didn’t stick the landing.”

Steve set his book down, brow furrowed. “Are you okay?”

“Peachy, but _starving_. Figured I’d bring over lunch and we can hang here. Make up for the other night. That cool?”

“Sure. I’ll grab some plates,” Steve said, starting to rise, but Clint flopped down next to him. 

“Pfft. Plates. You just eat over the box, Steve.”

Steve chuckled, reaching for one of the pizzas. Bucky settled between them. “So do I wanna know how you managed to fall off a building this time, bird boy?”

A sly smile curled Clint’s mouth. “Captain Perfect Pecs here distracted me. Got me all riled up and, well.” He lifted the cast. “Lost my footing. Gotta say, I kinda enjoy how squeaky clean, all-American Steve Rogers likes to get dirty.”

Steve flushed, shrinking back into the couch. 

Bucky flipped open one of the boxes and stole a slice, elbowing Clint. “That’s my guy. Heart of gold and filthy as fuck.”

“Too bad I missed it,” Clint said. “Ah, well. Next time. My place. I’ll give you boys a night you’ll never forget.” He winked before grabbing a slice for himself.

Steve laughed nervously and Bucky put an arm around Steve’s shoulders. He’d been right; not even awkward sexting could shake their friendship. Bucky had worried for nothing. “You’re right, baby,” he said before pressing a kiss to Steve’s cheek. “Everything’s back to normal.”

**Author's Note:**

> These guys are a mess. I figured after two kinda heavy fics, you guys deserved some comedy. 
> 
> Sadly, this is the last Arrows fic for a bit (not forever, good lord, not forever, I love it too much) so enjoy. 
> 
> Love you. <3


End file.
